Dear Loving & Caring Positive Primer,
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
That’s how long my heart stopped for…
Say each number slowly and “feel” the length of time that my heart did NOT beat…
Then… kicked in!
So I had a 21 second pause.
cont’d further down
Before you read on… this is a LONG LONG LONG message… and there’s some “profound wisdom” shared & the rest could be considered nonsense… but I hope there’s value… that it’s thought-provoking & you discover a GEM that’s meaningful for you…
Here’s the “bottom line” and “punch line” – It’s ALL good & my Pacemaker is IN – successfully and I’m phenomenal at healing and I’ve been sent SOOOO much love & energy & it’s WORKED & i am gr8ful !!
I trust this finds you happy & healthy
I’m doing well… for moments of each day – and each day there are more moments & those moments are longer & longer…
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Dr Google says that if your heart stops for 3 seconds it is “fine and not common”. But, when your heart stops for at least 10 seconds you are “clinically dead”… mine was twice that… except that it got going again! thank goodness…
Of course, having your heart stop at all is “not normal”.
The real Doctors / Specialists / Surgeons who are focused on me carefully described the abstract of my heart’s pause of 21 seconds in creative ways so that they didn’t scare me back into cardiac arrest…
It’s a subject of conversation that’s very scary indeed!
There’s a juxtaposition too… simultaneously:
It’s a majestic feeling – “being alive” even though I’m all fired up to LIVE but can’t in this moment…
Instead of being confined to hospital and being forced to take time out of my life and work… I’d prefer to be away! If I was going to have a week or two as a break for a holiday I’d rather it was eating delicacies in a European village or playing in Bora Bora !!
And the “diagnosis” suggests that my heart may always kick back in… but what happens when I “blackout” including falls could be very dangerous… disastrous… and for the period of time every second matters.
I’ve already experienced the pain of the falls! The consequences aren’t theory – I’ve had to endure them!
As this was the 6th “episode” where I’ve ended up Unconscious in the past 15 months… it’s alarming!
The first “big one” resulted in a “write-off” car accident… the most recent one ended with me black and blue and swollen in my face with a suspected neck injury!
There’s an assumption, based upon when I am explaining to the Doctors & Paramedics, that the description of what I see & hear whilst I’m OUT and how I feel for about 15-30 mins when I “come too” means I’ve had more than my share of near death experiences. More on that later…
I’ve had about 20 little ones (Episodes) throughout the past two years. I’ve felt woozy in between those BIG 6 and it has been debilitating when I’ve allowed it to concern me…
I’ll talk about the “warning signs” over the past couple of years and the flip side of being emotionally and mentally resilient in a few moments… and how anxiety and anger have played their roles.
I’m here to offer some “wisdom” – but take it all with a grain of salt…
I’m also here to ask you to pray / send me healing energy & request that your Angels give mine a hug that energises them…
I’m intimate with the severe risks and potential permanence of not coming back to life (which requires my heart beating) & then being perfectly ok – in terms of my organs and systems and tissues functioning optimally!
I am mindful of the impact I’m having on those close to me.
Cameron’s amazing, much more amazing than he gives himself credit for… as are my parents and my brother and his family and a few gorgeous souls who are supportive friends and colleagues.
My “condition” has implications, when the heart stops without warning in an In opportune place & time !!!
I’m acutely aware of my need to also protect the public at large and even though I’ve wanted to drive over the past 15 months and been “technically or legally” allowed to drive after certain periods of time after an “Episode” I’ve refrained. Of course. Even though it’s annoying to “not drive” and be totally dependent- I decided that I can go “above and beyond ” and just do what’s “right and fair”. I’ve been relying on Cameron and felt isolated in our rural setting.
A few years ago, I did a speech about someone perceptive calling me a “Human Exclamation Mark” as a way of introducing me – His description was because of “how I show up in the world” and “how exaggerated I am in my endeavours” – that is, I’m rather a STATEMENT — and in this instance it applies too!
I really want to be this kind of an emphatic statement though…
If like attracts like and self-fulfilling prophecies are a thing – then:
– I think I’ll start doing speeches about being a Peaceful Dove and creating miracles with ease from now on!!
I will work on people describing me as a healthy, serene punctuation mark…
Not a full stop of “period” for my US friends! 🙂
Last Friday’s “Unconsciousness incident” at home was interesting and every thing immediately afterwards was escalated and accelerated… my circumstances changed quickly!
They kept talking about my Looooong PAUSE in hushed tones in the Emergency Dept at Sunshine Coast University Hospital here in Queensland, Australia.
I’m in awe of my magnificent body and I think the professionals are too because I’m a glorious example of buoyancy after a life-threatening drama – let’s just say I’ve been intriguing to the nurses!
After several days in the Cardiology ward not only am I bored… but my understanding about what’s going on physiologically is clearer in some respects AND also more confusing in other respects.
My curiosity is aroused and most of you know that I’ve been a nerd when it comes to Postive Psychology and Neuroscience… and I’m about to do a deep dive on the Vagal Response.
Apparently it is rare – to be perfectly well & happy & grateful in the days afterwards.
I’m fortunate for there to be no organs irreparably damaged – and my BRAIN has been spared the otherwise dire consequences of an even longer pause…
My angels graced me!
In the Tech world of my business, Unicorns are revered… I aspire for my business, PositivePrime to be classified as a Unicorn. I’m not sure I needed the attention as an Individual. I’m on track..
Now I am already categorised as “very special” for different reasons in a parallel Universe that’s of Medicine…
Being a “rare” case has its WONDERS.
It’s wild when I really reflect on the “esoteric” aspects !!
The experts may question how we can be sure that my heart stopped for 21 seconds…
How cool is this? A few months ago during the intensive investigation process that has been examining what’s going on, I had an innovative cardiac device called a loop recorder Implanted into my chest (gosh it hurt – but there wasn’t sympathy from Cameron given his open heart quadruple bypass last year – nothing is allowed to hurt in comparison LOL)
So – the fancy device captured amazing data that showed exactly what happened in “those 5 minutes” and then in the 5 minutes after.
The previous attempts in discovering answers had left us with theories that needed resolutions…. I’d had halter monitors, a contrast Echocardiogram, and EEG and an trial with a medication… however, each peer beyond the body armour didn’t give us enough solid data…
Now the pieces of the puzzle are coming together… and the price I’ve already paid is more than enough.
New advances in medical science really are extraordinary…. the results of my loop recorder are: Wow!
My heart rhythm is a sight to behold – pretty!
My heart rate is NOT.
Nearly not being on the physical plane in human form has fascinated me & the professionals.
Now – the irony isn’t lost on me… for those of you who know my best selling gift book – “i am gr8ful for life”.
Given the strange mechanisms of my body over the past couple of years… and the messages I’ve received in meditations I’ve been revisiting my experiences of the spa business journey…
Most of you will remember that I “invented and launched” the commercial version of what is now commonly known as Hot Stone Massage as “Lithos Therapy” 20 years ago. That afforded me a stunning ride around the world connecting, collaborating with, and leading & teaching the highest profile and earliest influencers in the modern Spa Industry…
The most exclusive health retreats were my workplace: the sumptuous environments… the tranquil ambience of those spaces… and the kindness inherent within the people involved in the industry is what suits me (and my heart )
Just last week, out of the blue, after 16 years I contacted the man who made that stay at Ananda in the Himalayas possible… my intuition demanded of me to reach out to him. I thanked him for the remarkable and positive difference he made to my life as he facilitated the reasons for me to be there teaching Ayurvedic doctors and therapists. It was the peacefulness there and the holistic treatments that they spoiled me with that allowed me to imagine in vivid tones – and download” – fully conceptualised and visualised version of my message: “i am gr8ful for life”.
When I’m in touch with my gratitude I express it. Often I write to people or take the time to speak to them.
For the record: I’ve already had the BEST life offers… and I’m anticipating a lot more My childhood was ideal.
My Uni years were much better than I could have asked for. My corporate work in the UK & USA was fruitful. The rest had been a roller coaster worth the ride! I’ve dared greatly. I’ve leveraged the Happiness Advantage. I’ve experimented with more than most and I’ve swallowed the tantalising tastes from all walks of like all over the world…
I was spectacularly inspired when I created Lithos Therapy… same again with the books and yet again with PositivePrime….
“i am gr8ful for life” is still a magical book full of honesty!
“Lithos Therapy Massage” is still a treatment that harmoniously heals!
PositivePrime is absolutely astounding! Really. It’s very sophisticated even though it appears on the surface to be simple. The future will reveal clinical applications that will surprise us all.
I feel like another book is going to be birthed !! And this is the beginning… the draft is being laid out here & now.
I also have faith that I’ll “download” another extraordinary story like Lithos and iamgr8ful and PositivePrime!
Watch out !!!
If asked: I’m All Good — and we know it’s relative.
What is great – is that I’m healthy!!
Yes, I could be even healthier and fitter – and yet I’m really healthy.
What’s fascinating is that there isn’t a definitive answer as to WHY my heart stops… other than I’m really “connected” to the Universe and all of you… and my excessive Vagal response is a mystery…
I’m sensitive. I’m empathetic. And it’s “exaggerated”.
I’m an intense spirit… I’ve lived life, thus far, with the Volume turned up.
I don’t regret it.
I’m comfortable with the legacy I’ve already created.
I wish I’d been blessed with having a happy and healthy baby or two… I would have been an awesome mother!
But we can’t have everything and I’ve had more than my reasonable share.
“Being at the extremes” – as in the ability to produce world class inventions / to create / innovate / influence / love passionately means that my “vagal response” is also extreme. Perhaps it comes with the territory of being Kim Serafini in this lifetime….
Why I’ve been having minutes of Unconsciousness is becoming obvious.
The ambiguity and uncertainty of the past couple of years has forced me to “surrender” and learn to “allow and go with the flow”. Surrendering and Allowing and Flow are concepts that are philosophically elitist. The constructs are touted by so called authorities but until you have to walk your talk in tough circumstances and actually surrender – don’t believe what you hear!
Being me – has been illuminating… and what I’ve integrated into PositivePrime is benefiting those we serve
I’m not alone…
I appreciate there are others who are also frustrated and or in fear because of serious health challenges or indeed life’s obstacles… so I’ll be trying to keep this all in perspective and not be overly & characteristically dramatic…
Plus of course, there’s the world as it is right now in 2020… my heart isn’t the only one that’s going to STOP from the stress & suffering…
It’s sobering! What commitments do we make to look after each other with sincerity so that we can prevent others hearts stopping unnecessarily?
Marvel at yourself…
I’m in a beautiful modern hospital in the “safer state of Queensland” YAY
I’m being treated like a VIP here in a private room with an en-suite – I think they’ve googled me and discovered some airbrushed photos
What’s brilliant about this situation:
The heart is THE most studied of the organs… so if something’s to be random & go wrong” – it’s fortunate it’s my heart… and not another organ.
I’m lucky 🙂 ️
What’s real – I’m well – on all accounts! I’m healthy. I’m loved and loving!
A myriad of continuous medical tests are reiterating that I’m in fine shape…
I’m ready for the next step.
So – even though I’ve questioned whether all of the ingredients to being HEALTHY & vibrant have “worked” thus far considering my lifestyle / I can share that it’s better that all of these ingredients are included in the way you live:
✅ Cherishing a delicious romantic relationship with a wonderful person who’s caring and respectful… and enjoying the laughs is a priority.
– do the serious spiritual work in relationship
✅ Valuing and investing in exceptional relationships and sharing love with your family – especially when it’s not easy is a requirement.
When you don’t have the time, make it or create it… Consciously choose.
When you don’t have the energy or it’s challenging if there are upsets – do it anyway, dedicate yourself to healthy compassion … Forgive. Strengthen your relationships.
Be crystal clear about the distinction between investing in healthy vs unhealthy relationships: Don’t stand for abuse – remove yourself entirely to save your own life and the quality of your life!
REALLY – Don’t accept others mental or emotional or spiritual or physical abuse, even if you think you have to…
✅ Being uplifted and on purpose with work that significant and meaningful… and contributing in a way that elevates others is critical… BEWARE: It’s not a gentle walk in a serene park, it’s more like a vigorous walk along a beach with pounding waves… it’s captivating and confronting but you’ll be AWAKE and it’s worth it…
✅ Balance it all with self-care that luxurious. Be deliberate in soothing your senses. Do it more often.
✅ Being proud of you who’ve become and who you are being is what you deserve… give yourself permission to be the most Divine version of yourself…
✅ When you’re embarrassed by who you’ve been make amends…
✅ Say sorry more! Apologise and be trustworthy!
✅ Feeling fantastic that you’ve cultivated fabulous friendships with people who are genuine and sincere in their well wishes is to be protected…
✅ Spending time with cheerleaders who encourage you is not negotiable.
✅ Eliminating or limiting exposure to those who criticise you or everyone and everything because they think “projection” is ok is not OK. don’t stand for it or get caught up in it… It’s deceptively slippery to be sucked in and down…
✅ Severing ties with those people who are toxic and those people who cause harm or wilful damage – particularly the jealous ones – is essential.
✅ Stare at stunning trees and allow them to heal you…
✅ Brighten others lives just because you have the privilege to do so…
✅ Make someone’s day because it is an honour to do so…
✅ Help. Support. Assist.
✅ Laugh because it’s a pleasure… my gorgeous soul mate, Cameron McNeill has really developed within me – the glorious-ness of humble laughter!! Most days, he’s naturally driven to extract a wholesome laugh from me… those moments are precious gems I treasure! I love it that he makes an effort – almost daily to get me to lighten up!!
✅ Allow others to give you gifts (I’ll rejoice in receiving flowers )
✅ Drink Kangen water
✅ Liberally apply therapeutic grade DoTERRA essential oils
✅ Take quality supplements- eg: Vit D, Turmeric, Bs and C and Zinc, Potassium & Calcium
✅ Eat lots of raw and steamed greens – preferably organic.
✅ Brush your teeth and then confidently smile 🙂
✅ Drink lots of cocktails whilst having fun and being playful
✅ Take care of each other
I didn’t know how important my outstanding behaviour of the past year would be…and how critical it has been to my survival !!!
I’m bound to repair and recover WELL AND rapidly – God willing and with the psychic surgeons helping out my surgeon and the other specialists responsible for my care.
If I hadn’t transformed even more in the past 16 years since my first spirited and spiritual awakening I wouldn’t still be here… Additionally, I’m confident that I wouldn’t be feeling blessed that I’ll be renewed and have the opportunity to LIVE LARGE.
In case I don’t get the chance – sharing all is this has been haunting me… perhaps it will serve you.
I’m being vulnerable in the hope you’ll:
Send me loving & healing energy
Ask the angels to ensure there is purity and sterility in the operating theatre and surrounds!
I’m being vulnerable in the hope you’ll:
Send me loving & healing energy
Ask the angels to ensure there is purity and sterility in the operating theatre and surrounds!
Take care of each other.
Watch PositivePrime and make sure you upgrade your membership account and become a Signature Subscriber – that will help !! I will appreciate it much more than you can fathom… I’m asking for you to proactively spread it and keep it alive and functioning at a peak performance / elite level as a business. Absolutely in my absence… and even still.
Be still – but not for long !!! Well, not for as long as I was… and not quite as literally!! LOL. Plan for moments of being “still”. So still that you can hear – and listen to your heart…
There are many “insights” that have downloading into my marvellous mind and we can be sure I’ll write more as soon as it’s possible…
At 6pm yesterday …
Dr Tung came to see me…with his esteemed colleagues.
Echo results look ok and they’re yet to study them properly…
I was very proud of myself – because I was brave and had a contrast cardiac MRI yesterday.
That’s because they want quality “records” of before… just because they do… and so that they can be more than 99% sure of their theories and approach.
That 45min procedure in the tight tunnel rocked me! Talk about terror for a claustrophobic angel like me!
It’s not mandatory – however: They’re now officially recommending a pacemaker.
They really wouldn’t unless they really thought it was really necessary…
Yes – I’m a “baby” I’m the pacemaker world !!
The length of the PAUSE and the frequency of the episodes is determining that should happen…
It’s a big deal – particularly because of my age.
It’s not the “batteries” story and their need to be replaced in 7-12 years nor the 1% complications… and therefore a other major surgery…
Nor the fact that even in year 2 or 3 the metal can be rejected – only in 2% are there complications
Nor that the leads can be funky & fail (they eventually do within 15 yrs)
It’s the “wires” replacement story… that is more alarming for a little girl like me…my inner child is freaking out.
They’re trying to get me scheduled for Today. Let’s align to that…
I’m numb and also I’m excited about the future and I’m also scared… I’m super freakn grateful – the more I understand how fortunate I’ve been!
They’ve explained the risks as they can escalate over time – and at 10- 15 yrs I will need new “wires” and currently it’s not simple, easy or really safe to take the “old ones” out and replace them… yikes!
I hope medical tech developers accelerate and excel in this area!! We need inventors and creators and innovators like me… those who will take risks with their professional lives and hold themselves to world class standards…
hey still believe the pros and risks on both sides of the equation warrant their recommendation.
I’m imagining & visualising & feeling bliss!
Hold each other closer…
My Mummy’s & Dad’s hearts would be hurting just at the thought of their little girl’s pain or fear… I’ve asked my angels to ensure they’re held gently and watching them for fainting because I know they’ll HIDE their concerns or worries…
If it’s possible I hope our friends keep a compassionate eye on them….
Cameron – will have this hit him harder than he thinks… send him some extra love and healing energy too!
To Cameron, I’ve already said “no ladders !!!! No machines without a companion observing… whilst I’m away
In my mind I’m wanting to be like a crab… scurrying across the sand… making a dash… for it!
As you read above – I believe my angels have been working overtime and have been around supporting me!
In fact right now they’re present and gracing me… They maybe exhausted at this stage and may need fortifying by your angels !!
In the very least my angels could need your angels to be dancing partners …
I’d be even more cheerful if you’d allow your angels to come here for a little while and grace me too.
Thank you in advance for the gifts or blessings you’ll be bestowing on me – and my dear Cameron and family and friends and members of my community.
I want to live vibrantly – but the pacemaker doesn’t cure the condition — it just restarts my heart when it slows too much or stops… so I’ll have to seriously guard my heart and prevent the triggers to reflex syncope !!!
It will be fabulous in 4 weeks to have my independence again & be able to drive !!!
Imagine how effervescent I’ll be…
I’ll be savouring my life as I’m flourishing and thriving…
I was discussing the MRI with Cameron:
“As I was lying in there I thought to myself, Well at least the pictures will provide the evidence as to whether I’m an Alien or Angel or not.”
Cameron quipped: “When they turn up in hazmat suits to take you away we will at least then have the results!”
Laughing away I thought yes, it is that he makes an effort to make me laugh… Gosh, I love Him.
My Mum and Dad are coming back from their caravan trip for my convalescence… my inner child is relieved.
I wish everyone had the love I do. It is worth living for and it kindly requests of me – and of us all that we be loving and loveable.
Thank you thank you thank you xox
CEO and Founder of
Positive Prime firstname.lastname@example.org